How to kill your mother

               

I can feel some of you wondering what happened to this guy, has he gone mad (knowing me closely it may not surprise you much if I had gone mad), has he lost all senses, will he go to extent of killing his own mother...wait. Don't conclude anything hastily. Listen to the horrible experience I encountered. It may provoke you to think, who knows, may even change your decision of killing your own mother!

I'll quickly come to that incident. Remember: this was not a dream.

Once I found myself locked in a dark place. Complete darkness around me but on a few occasions, I was able to see some faint lighting inside that place if I open my eyes. I couldn't make out where I was and what will happen to me in the future.

But I had hope. Firstly, I felt I was in a safe place though it was dark. And I could hear noises outside, out of which one particular sound waves were not only familiar but very comforting too. To tell you truth, I started liking that particular sound despite I had absolutely no clue of how that person will be. I even felt that one day that person will save me.

Another comforting factor was I never felt hungry or thirsty. Now, at this age, calling myself educated (not learned, huh), I don't know how my hunger and thirst were taken care of. Few lessons, even though we read, we miss out to remember them. 

So, at that particular time (I didn't even know how many days and nights went off) I still had hope and I felt comfortable. I only wished it would continue.

But it didn't. One day, I don't even know why; out of natural instincts and force, I tried to escape. I can't remember how difficult it was but suddenly I found myself in a very bright place, I shrunk and closed my eyes, the warmth around me suddenly vanished, I felt danger and I started to cry, yes I am not ashamed to tell you, I cried heavily. 

I felt the presence of many unknown, strange figures around me, touching me, trying to harm me. I was weak; I couldn't get out of their hands. I started to cry more. Oh, at that moment how much I missed my earlier safe room!

Miracles happen. I believe the first miracle in my life happened at that time. Upon hearing my crying and unable to hear my cry any longer, the familiar voice said something. I was taken and kept near her (yes, it was a female). I heard her words clearly. She said, "sarippa, sarippa, azhadheppa" (meaning 'it's alright, don't cry'). I felt comfortable by the warmth and those words. Phonetic sound of words coming out of her mouth was the first and best sound I ever heard in my entire life. I started to sleep peacefully.

I hope by now you would have understood whom I try to mention. Yes, it was my mother and I was just born. 

In this whole incident (if you had not identified already) the first phonetic sound, words, I heard from my most trustable and lovable person in this world at that time was spoken in Tamil and thus it became my mother tongue. 

Above lines are to exemplify the significance of my mother tongue. I agree that Tamil is many centuries old, has very good literature, one of the classical languages, oldest in usage language, spoken by many millions worldwide. etc. But to me, it has one more reason to love it; the first words I heard from my mother's mouth was Tamil.

All languages are equal; I respect each and every language humans use to communicate in this world. But doesn't Tamil hold a special status in my mind? And isn't it the same in your case - mother tongue special than other languages.

Now, tell me. How can I ignore my mother tongue? How can I not learn my mother tongue and choose a different language so that I can live and earn in a different place in the world? How can I hide my own language to my next generation? Isn't it like killing my mother tongue? 

So....How can I kill my mother?

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ps: I wrote this in English because this applies to all of us - only the language may change but not the sin. 

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R. Bharathram

09/06/2019